04.25.07
Chinese driving rules
Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Chinese driver never uses them.
Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered “going with the flow.”
The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork repairs.
Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.
Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful
information. They are only there to make China look high-tech, and to
distract you from seeing the police radar car parked on the emergency belt.
Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are
apparently not enforceable during rush hour.
Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.
Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives highway crews something to clean up.
It is assumed that police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work.
Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the
previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God’s way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.
Chinese drive in the same way that bats fly and dolphins swim: Using echolocation. That’s what the horn is for.