06.03.07
Chinglish (4)
I came upon a blog called ‘Adrift in a sea of phlegm’ by Keir (I don’t know what is worse actually, being adrift here or being stranded). Keir calls a spade a spade, and I like the pictures and link collections on his blog. I found this picture of a convenience item list from a Beijing hotel room. I saw one a few years ago, which was almost exactly the same, but I did not have my camera with me at the time.
Seems there is still a lot of work to be done before the 2008 Olympics. But I must admit the Traveller’s mates are not too expensive. Guess they are Mongolian. Not sure though if 30 RMB is for the whole night.
A good one is the line ‘These product will be charged to your account according to your consumption’. I can see the scene on checking out the next morning: “What do you mean you charge me 15 RMB for a whole can of cunt cleaning spray? I only used about half of it!”
05.31.07
Chinglish (3)
Kim from East-West Station (I like that blog, by the way) posted this nice reflection on ‘English, with Chinese characteristics’, commonly known as Chinglish.
05.29.07
Nantong
I traveled to Nantong in Jiangsu province today, together with 2 colleagues from work. We visited customers at two shipyards, Nantong Tongde and Nantong Hantong shipyard. Both yards have many new projects for the offshore industry, like pipe laying vessels, accomodation barges, and anchor handling tugs.
The trip from Shanghai takes about 4 hours by car, including the ferry crossing of the Yangtze river. Because we still have a few visits tomorrow, we decided to stay the night in the Huatong Hotel in Nantong. The price list for the convenience items has some remarkable descriptions on it. None of the items could be found in the room by the way. Bummer, because I forgot to bring my own ‘Shave must knife’ this trip, and RMB 10.00 seems like a bargain.
05.23.07
Now THIS is useful stuff…
How could I have done without my daily capsule of Vigor-Joy stuffed up my arse, and all these ‘extreme small molecules’ entering my ‘ppostatits’? For best results to be taken in combination with Fukitol, like the happy guy in the picture obviously did.
Vigor-Joy and Fukitol, two top products from the famous ‘Shanghai No.2 Ever Happy Golden Five Stars Fornicating Lizard Medicinal Herbs Co., Ltd.’
04.25.07
Chinglish (1), a few very funny ones.
They tell us this is going to disappear. But for the time being, there are still plenty of these little gems to be found here.
1. In a Beijing hotel lobby:
“The lift is being fixed for next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.”
2. In a Shanghai hotel elevator:
“Please leave your values at the front desk.”
3. In a Hangzhou hotel:
“The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.”
4. In a Jilin hotel:
“You are very invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”
5. In a Wuxi dry cleaner:
“Please drop your trousers here for best results.”
6. Outside a Tianjin clothing shop:
“Order your summer suits quick. Because of big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.”
7. In a Xian tailor shop:
“Ladies may have a fit upstairs.”
8. In a Guilin hotel:
“Because of impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.”
9. An ad by Kunming dentist:
“Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.”
10. In a Hangzhou zoo:
“Please do not feed animals. If you have suitable food give it to the guard on duty.”
11. From a karaoke bar song list in Suzhou:
“I’d Like to Teach the Wound to Sing; What Kind of Foot Am I.”
12. In a Taiyuan bar:
“Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.”
13. Hainan airline ticket office:
“We take your bags and send them to all directions.”
14. In a Huashan temple:
“It is forbidden to enter a woman. Even a foreigner if dressed as a man.”
15. In a restaurant menu in Harbin:
“Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.”
